Saturday, January 5, 2019
My problem with resolutions are they are almost always aimed to address things you feel sucked about your life the year before. Take for example focusing on your weight. You feel you are fat so your solution to the problem is to get a membership at the gym. Somehow you want to believe that having that membership is the magic solution for weight loss. We all know that as the the month goes on your commitment to trips to that gym dwindles and dwindles till you are paying for a membership that is never used after March.
Instead of making a resolution it is better for you to set goals. First consider how does your excess weight make you feel. Are you exhausted after walking up several flights of stairs? Do you constantly feel tired no matter how much sleep you get? By asking yourself questions you can now develop a plan and set some realistic goals for yourself that ultimately will not only help you lose weight but also help you feel better. Change based on how you look is so much different than putting the focus on how do you want to feel. It will help you look at things from a different perspective. You can become complacent with how you look but we all desire to FEEL good.
So over the next week or so begin to take a look at your life overall...your health, your job/s, your relationships, your finances, your social interactions and set achievable goals which you can map out a realistic strategy which will serve as your pathway to change in those areas of your life you FEEL could use change.
Be sure to to celebrate your small wins. They will give you a sense of accomplishment as well as be the motivation to keep going. The good thing about a goal is if you do not feel you are progressing, you can always go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate and re-structure your strategy.
Goals require commitment, planning, preparing, and taking REALISTIC action. No matter the hurdles that life throws at you...everything is possible when you believe.
Take time to share what you see as your hot goal for 2019 is...mine is to declutter. I must move from the 12 inch plate of my to do list and slim it down to an 8 inch one.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
When I think of forgiveness my thoughts turn to God. The Bible is full of verse on this topic. There is no way for us to deny that God forgives the worst of our sins and always grants us a "second chance". Through forgiveness we can move forward from hatred, grievance and strife to the path of inner and outer peace.
It is through forgiveness that one opens their heart to an energy of love which can pass on to others around us. Ultimately that energy creates the atmosphere of harmony, happiness and compassion in our homes, our community and our lives.
So as 2018 comes to its conclusion and we move into a New Year...step BOLDLY into 2019 with a firm determination to leave behind all feelings of unforgiveness and free yourself to receive inner peace that will change your life. Let 2019 be your year free of bitter and full of BETTER.
Friday, December 21, 2018
If you are a person who feels like these changes are having an impact on your daily life, it is important to seek help. Therapies range from light therapy to being active to help alleviate the symptoms of SAD. Learn more on 12 Ways to Ease Seasonal Depression.
Monday, December 3, 2018
1. Have a meeting to prioritize and plan activities for the week (put them on a calendar and give a copy to each head of household for every family that will be in attendance). Be sure to give everyone a voice…this includes the little people…they count too.
2. Designate and share responsibilities: who will do the major cooking, who will to do the kitchen cleanup, who will keep the shared living areas clean, etc. Write this out also giving the head of each household a copy.
3. Do not expect anyone's personality to have changed since the last time you were together...just know they are who they are. Those you have issues with will most likely be the same. One of the easiest ways to set yourself up for disaster is to have false expectations.
4. Accept and respect long standing family traditions. Remember one day, if you are so blessed with longevity, you will be the senior member of the family.
5. Do not take the holiday gathering as an opportunity to address unresolved family disputes. If it was not resolved in the 365 days since your last gathering, there is no reason to believe it will get settled during the week.
6. Set precise house rules for the children. Make them precise and clear and posted so they can be seen. All adults should be authorized to enforce set rules. No bay-bay kids allowed.
7. Make it clear adults are expected to clean areas one usually cleans behind themselves (i.e. no one should yank back the shower curtain to find the previous user soap scum). Remember the maid has week off so she could go home for the holiday too.
8. Pets…so you plan to bring along your favorite furry friend…”news flash” – everyone, contrary to popular belief, is not a pet lover and there may be relatives with severe pet allergies. Definitely discuss this before you show up at the door with Fife, Fido and/or Fluffy. If it is agreed pets are welcomed, there must be clear boundaries; determine where they will be allowed to roam during the week. Talk about ruining Christmas dinner - Cujo finds his way to the kitchen to grab a little sample of the glazed ham but it was so good that he got carried away…not even the bone remained - “has anyone seen the glazed ham”?
9. Set and post the noise level rules for early morning and late night hours in a common area. There are bound to be early morning roosters and the late night insomniacs.
10. Solitude…yes…although we have gathered for bonding time…people still need “ME” time during the week. It is OK to take time alone to do your routine meditation, reflection, exercise, etc. Do not feel obligated to miss this important part of you taking care of you. For some this might be the only way of maintaining sanity for the week…a legitimate way to escape!
Although this doesn’t beat being able to play Rip Van Wrinkle for the week or getting your family to
believe the alien abduction kidnapping snapshot, I hope these few suggestions help make your trip home for the holidays an experience you will look forward to…OK…that might be stretching it a bit much…but at least one where you can build good memories.
I have shared a few helpful tips with you…now I have a question for you– What do you do with that re-gifted fruitcake?